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we will have maid for first time today, advices please.

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  1. #51

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    Biggest lesson I have been told is to treat them firmly from the very outset. Do not be too "nice". That does not mean treat them harshly, but just be very clear, very fair, but also very strict in terms of expectations.

    shri likes this.

  2. #52

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    Quote Originally Posted by HK_Katherine:
    I don't know how Philipino;s feel about chicken, but the chinese seem to prize the "nasty bits" very highly and discount the boneless pieces ... you may want to ensure that there are no cultural issues here before you accuse your maid of eating the good bits! And I don't think you can force someone to eat "healthily" if they don't want to - just because they are poor does not mean they can't be picky eaters! HUGE amount of fast food in Ppines - may well be what she's used to rather than veggies!
    Again, more cultural issues - you actually want your maid to be sat next to your kids all the time they are in playgroup? Seriously? Wouldn't you prefer your children learnt how to stand on their own two feet rather than be molly-coddled and end up like one of those local "princess" types expecting others to look after them all the time? If I hired a someone to look after my kids I'd rather they taught kids independence than ran around after them (although I agree, playing on your phone when you are supposed to be working is not such a good sign).
    You need to be clear about what you are looking for - but if you are trying to raise your children in a silly way, you might expect some push back. However, at the end of the day, she is supposed to follow your rules not her own.
    Agree about the kids playing, but the maid should not, ever, be on the phone/internet for personal stuff while on work duties in my opinion.

  3. #53

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tripsplanner:
    I have said this before, and I will say it again. Treat your DH as how you would like to be treated at work. How would you like to have 3 security cameras installed focused on you at work?

    That being said, with any new helper, I have always done my $-in-pocket test as my husband is careless and forgetful it comes to leaving his wallet/ money all over the place. Including in his pockets! He won't even know if he loses money.

    As for references, simple. Ask the agency ONLY to show you candidates that have references from current/ previous employer. I did and my additional criteria was to be able to speak to the employer. I have contacted employers who have moved to UK or US and once really liked a DH until we spoke to the employer who made us decide that she is not for us. The agency is probably lazy and taking advantage of your inexperience.

    And lastly, remember a lot of the DH are people forced to work here due to financial circumstances. Have a bit of compassion! If you start your working relationship with an environment of mistrust, I can guarantee you'd be talking to your agent again in 2 years' time.
    Cameras are fine to use, and indeed should be used especially if you have young children. If I was a helper they would give me comfort, as any suspicion of theft could be proven by viewing the cameras. They key is to explain to the helper that the are not to "spy" on her but used for security reasons.
    okey dokey likes this.

  4. #54

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    Nov 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Me:
    If I was a helper they would give me comfort, as any suspicion of theft could be proven by viewing the cameras. They key is to explain to the helper that the are not to "spy" on her but used for security reasons.
    Knowing that your employer is monitoring you and has the ability to see everything you are doing would give you comfort??

    I'm for appropriate use of cameras if young children are involved but that statement is quite ridiculous.
    bookblogger likes this.

  5. #55

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sammm:
    Advice with maid? Watch her with your husband and/or older sons.
    But only if you enjoy watching that sort of thing.
    HowardCoombs and MrRotavator like this.

  6. #56

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    Quote Originally Posted by bookblogger:
    But only if you enjoy watching that sort of thing.
    Doesnt everybody? I thought that was a given
    bookblogger and MrRotavator like this.

  7. #57

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sammm:
    Advice with maid? If your husband is the weasely sort with no self-control or loyalty, ditch the husband and get a great woman as a domestic worker to help you raise your sons so they treat women as people not sex objects.
    Fixed it for you!
    Hapi, bibbju, HK_Katherine and 1 others like this.

  8. #58

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    Apr 2010
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    Doesn't matter what nationality your helper will be, treat them humanely and plant a trust and respect with your working relationship and as a person. And everyone has their own story bad or good, do whatever you think is best for everyone, you get the good advice that you thought is good from everyone around here and think about it. Whatever you say in this forum, are all just from your side and nobody knows what's with the helper's side. And only the two of you stays in the same house, eat at the same table, seeing each other and talking face to face. Be open to each other, if you can treat her like an employee and at the same time as a friend that would be good. Put yourself in each other's shoes. It's your house it's your rule but it's a matter of how are you going to make your house organised and the people living in it in harmony, with love, respect and honesty? At the end of the day, you'll know what will make her love your family and you'll love her too.

    HK_Katherine likes this.

  9. #59

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    I think you should quit your job and take care of your house together with your children that the best thing u can do. You just told that your mom and your friend hired a helper already, so u should already know the rules, I hope you had read the contract before you signed them...
    Another thing you can do, call the immigration and knows all the rules and policies....


    Sent from my iPhone using GeoClicks


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