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we will have maid for first time today, advices please.

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  1. #31

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tripsplanner:
    Hygiene standards for food preparation but how about hygiene standards in looking after your children? Are you and your wife not going to "transition" her into her job/ duties when she starts? That's the period in which you tell your DH what your expectations are, how you'd like things done and where the lines of acceptability are.

    I second whomever that said.....just buy a safe! You can put the camera in your master bedroom, focused on the safe, museum style, then you can check on your valuables all day long!

    While we are at it, I heard from one of my interviews, that one employer hid away the AC remotes lest the DH may be tempted to turn them on while the employers are out of the apt. Seriously? WTF?
    thanks for great information all, geoexpat is a great place where we can help each other with our knowledge and experience, so all benefit )

    hygiene stds for kids, l will watch for first few times until satisfied, were some minor "shortcomings" yesterday. will have to watch her brushing their teeth few times more l reckon.
    reckon will just lock our room, everytime out. she has a good background and characteristics to give feeling of trust. she has 4 beautiful children, she teaches bible studies in her church. she did bring her own toiletries but don't mind her using ours.
    Last edited by Tioga; 11-07-2014 at 05:32 PM.

  2. #32

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    update, she is ok, though she kept browsing internet on her mobile leaving kids in a government playroom, she was told to be beside the kids all the time since there are bigger kids there who can get aggressive. after being told off twice on two seperate days, l decided she has to keep her internet phone at home when she goes with the kids.
    also really annoying to me is she took the nice cuts of chicken in half a chicken leaving me with only bones, chicken head and feet which l find revolting even looking at. on asking her why there was no bones with meat, she said she only had one piece or two pieces and toddlers were fed rest. not likely.
    she is fed well, l insist she has fruit and veg every day, along with meats for protein. l want and need her to be healthy, but not at my expense, as l had to eat the steamed egg and tomato which she cooked at lunch and l had told her to eat for her dinner. it has been suggested l tell her that my mother had a security firm install hidden cameras, since she had money stolen from her last maid, and saw her eating the nice cuts, and tell her the fact that l want her to eat healthy but not at my expense. this would likely make her more studious and more unlikely to steal, which i feel is a possible event. 5%?? opinions please


  3. #33

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    I don't know how Philipino;s feel about chicken, but the chinese seem to prize the "nasty bits" very highly and discount the boneless pieces ... you may want to ensure that there are no cultural issues here before you accuse your maid of eating the good bits! And I don't think you can force someone to eat "healthily" if they don't want to - just because they are poor does not mean they can't be picky eaters! HUGE amount of fast food in Ppines - may well be what she's used to rather than veggies!
    Again, more cultural issues - you actually want your maid to be sat next to your kids all the time they are in playgroup? Seriously? Wouldn't you prefer your children learnt how to stand on their own two feet rather than be molly-coddled and end up like one of those local "princess" types expecting others to look after them all the time? If I hired a someone to look after my kids I'd rather they taught kids independence than ran around after them (although I agree, playing on your phone when you are supposed to be working is not such a good sign).
    You need to be clear about what you are looking for - but if you are trying to raise your children in a silly way, you might expect some push back. However, at the end of the day, she is supposed to follow your rules not her own.

    bibbju likes this.

  4. #34

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    Tioga - On the other hand, I appreciate what you're going through.

    As far as kids are concerned, it is best if someone keeps an eye on them, until you're satisfied that they can handle themselves. You need to sort this out with the helper. The whole internet on mobile thing is a pain ... but a reality everyone has to deal with. Not just with helpers, but even with kids and their parents.

    As far as food is concerned - well you just have to put your foot down and make sure you get what you want. Perhaps a cooking class is in order. There are lots of reasonably priced classes which cater to helpers. I am a bit like you. I detest bones and more importantly, dinner is my main meal.


  5. #35

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tioga:
    update, she is ok, .....
    also really annoying to me is she took the nice cuts of chicken in half a chicken leaving me with only bones, chicken head and feet which l find revolting even looking at. on asking her why there was no bones with meat, she said she only had one piece or two pieces and toddlers were fed rest. not likely.
    .....as l had to eat the steamed egg and tomato which she cooked at lunch and l had told her to eat for her dinner. .... 5%?? opinions please
    Err... "Half a chicken" for how many adults and how old are the toddlers?
    Since they are old enough to eat solid food, so how much solids/meats are they eating?
    Other than that "half" chicken, what else was on the menu for dinner... seems there may be a case of "not enough food to go round"

    If I were her... why would I eat steamed egg+tomato.... when there is chicken to be eaten???? Of course I would eat the chicken!

  6. #36

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    Filipinos generally have the same attitude to chicken as the Chinese - they are always happy I eat the breast and leave them with the best bits.

    HK_Katherine likes this.

  7. #37

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    Quote Originally Posted by hullexile:
    Filipinos generally have the same attitude to chicken as the Chinese - they are always happy I eat the breast and leave them with the best bits.
    Thanks for clarifying that Hull. So the maid was probably trying to do the right thing. Rather than yell at her, you just need to explain (probably with some humour) that westerners are really odd folks who like the breast and could she serve that to you next time. Simple as.

    It might help to START with the attitude that there are probably simple explanations for things you don't like and work from there, rather than assuming she's ripping you off, stealing or otherwise doing something bad.
    jgl likes this.

  8. #38

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    Quote Originally Posted by WMDS:
    I would advise a balance. We had a good helper now for a few months. Shes been really good with our little one, helping with household and generally making our lives easier. However recently my wife and my wallets had a few hundreds missing. This week I had almost 1k gone missing and I searched everywhere. Theres no way my wallet would have no cash overnight.... Anyway I decided to buy a kitty safe and will keep the bulk of the cash there locked up. I stopped laying my wallet and keys in the living room. Its better to be slightly wise with your own valuable possessions etc.
    back up a little. you blamed yourself for leaving your wallet and keys around your own house rather than finding out who actually went through your personal stuff and stole money ?
    lealei likes this.

  9. #39

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    Quote Originally Posted by rakedavids:
    back up a little. you blamed yourself for leaving your wallet and keys around your own house rather than finding out who actually went through your personal stuff and stole money ?
    I just needed to change my habits and put wallet in bedroom and put cash above 1K into a lockable safe hidden in the bedroom. It is partially my fault if I create opportunities for the helper, after they are not like family. My wife or daughter won't steal from me, but a helper can.

  10. #40

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    Quote Originally Posted by WMDS:
    My wife or daughter won't steal from me, but a helper can.
    I take money from my mrs wallet with her knowing LOL whats hers is mine
    WMDS and lealei like this.